Scenario Cards: 6 Moves to Hold Space

Roel The Practice
5 minute read

Scenario Cards are specifically designed to bypass the surface and get to the 'juicy truths,' but sometimes those truths require a special kind of presence to navigate safely.

When a friend, partner, or client shares something deeply personal, you might find yourself wondering: “What do I say now?”

This is called "holding space." It is a skill that allows others to feel safe in their vulnerability… and like any skill, it’s one you can practice and refine.

And the good news is, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, simple is better.

Below are six simple “moves” you can use to support someone after they open up.

You don’t need to use all of them; they’re tools you can return to, whether you’re a coach, a friend, or just a human who wants to be more present with those you care about.

1. The Gift of Silence

Silence is a gift.

If someone seems overwhelmed or still tender, you don’t need to rush in.

Just give them space to breathe, find themselves, and feel the impact of what they just shared.

A soft smile or gentle nod can say a lot.

The more comfortable and present you can be in the silence, the more space they’ll have to be with their own experience.

2. Ask Before Advising

Giving advice too soon can shut things down. Instead, try:

“I have some ideas for you. Would you like to hear them, or would you rather stay here a little longer?”

Wait for a clear yes before offering solutions.

If they say, “Uh… sure?” then it’s probably not a clear yes.

Some people (just like me!) may not want any advice at all. If that’s the case, then honor that, and ask them, “Then what type of support can I offer you instead?”

3. Reflect back what you heard.

You don’t need to search for the perfect words or the next best question.

Sometimes, being a mirror can be a great gift.

For example, if they share how their anger is so intense that they can’t sleep, you can simply offer a reflection.

“I’m hearing that you’re feeling so angry it’s keeping you up at night.”

It’s not fixing, but it shows them you are listening. AND, it helps remind them where they are.

4. Invite them to reflect.

After a big share (especially when deep emotions are involved) sparked by one of our Scenario Cards, have them keep their attention on their own experience:

For example, instead of aligning with their emotions or reacting, try saying,

“What’s it like to say that out loud?”
“What do you notice in your body right now after sharing that?”

This helps integrate the moment without pulling them out of it.

If you’re moved by what they said, say so.

For example,

If someone shares about a recent heartbreak, you may say something like.

“Hearing that, I feel an ache in my chest. I’m really touched by what you shared. I’m grateful that you opened up to me.”

You're not analyzing their story; you're simply sharing your emotional response.

This can be a powerful way to show empathy and compassion, especially when you’re not a paid professional.

6. Check in with yourself

It’s common to get lost in someone else’s process and forget about your own.

As a general reminder, make sure to return to your breath and body while holding space for someone else.

If you notice your mind is racing with things you want to say in response, before jumping in, pause and ask yourself:

Is this mine to share?
Is now the right time?
Is this in service of this moment?

Check in with your heart and gut and see if you get an answer.

Unless you get a clear yes… maybe it’s best to hold off a bit longer.

(Note: This may take some getting used to, especially if tuning into your body or asking yourself these kinds of questions is new for you.)

Meeting the Moment with Presence

These 6 ‘moves’ are not a replacement for therapeutic modalities, and this email isn’t meant to guide formal therapy sessions.

But they can be powerful conversation companions, especially when used with care and intention.

Whether you’re at the dinner table, in a circle, or using Scenario Cards with a friend, these ‘moves’ can help you meet the moment with presence and invite more connection.

And even if there isn’t a super deep share, they still work nicely to maintain connection.