How to Play Cards as Deep Conversation Starters

We've all been there - that first date moment when you're sitting across from someone you just met. It's going well enough until they start asking you questions about your values and passions because they love "deep conversations!" Before long, it starts to feel like an awkward job interview.

Connecting with people on a level that feels meaningful and real is usually what we're seeking when we begin a new friendship. It's what I look for in a new dating adventure. But in the beginning, how do we get to talking about the things that really matter?

Read on to learn why conversation starter cards may be your answer. I'll also explain games you can play with these card decks. I'll describe games to play with others, and games for when you're alone. 

How do you start a deep conversation?

"Deep conversation" is usually the way we describe this desire - though it's more than that. The trick is how to get comfortable with the other person, and they with you, before you start to ask the "deep" questions? One of the best ways we can do this is by being genuine and playful.

How good it would feel to steer a conversation towards a deeper level of understanding and connection, without feeling intimidated by the process of choosing topics!

Using Deep Conversation Starter Cards

Using conversation starter cards lowers the pressure of coming up with the questions yourself. You might find it feels like a game. But player beware. These increasingly popular card decks come with varying themes and question types. 

Think of these kinds of cards as a tool to help you relax so you can enjoy the conversation. But not all cards or card-based conversations are going to create the type of meaningful, connected conversation we're looking for. Choose your card deck carefully. 

Not Emotion Cards

You might come across something called emotion cards. These are tools therapists and teachers, or parents most commonly use. It's a means to help children identify their feelings, and they can also help children recognize emotions in others that they might not know how to articulate yet.

Although they're mostly used for children, emotion cards can be a common tool in adult therapy as well.

Meaningful conversations can be more usefully facilitated with a "what if" type of scenario question. This is one of the reasons why I created Scenario Cards.

Play Scenario Cards instead

The what-if questions used in each deck of Scenario Cards were developed by psychologists to help you understand yourself and connect with others. Some help you let go of your worries, fears and insecurities. Some are intended to spark intimate conversations. Others are lighter and more playful.

These kinds of questions help you move past communication barriers to build stronger connections with your friends and family, or even yourself.

Card games you can play with others for deeper conversations

Each deck of Scenario Cards contains questions with increasing levels of "spice." You'll start with the mild questions, and make your way to extra spicy.

The Buddy Game

The Request Around the Circle Game

If you're hosting a dinner party, or gathering with friends around a campfire, this is a wonderful time to all go around and ask each other some questions.

Instructions: Draw a card, read the scenario out loud and ask another player for their answer.

The Guru Answer Game

You might want to save this game for when you're with people you already know well and feel comfortable with. This is a fun way to take turns impersonating each other, and playfully give a pretend answer. Playing this game can lead to laughs, fun, and it's also good for groups. 

Instructions: Draw a card, read the scenario out loud and answer it as if you were another player.

 The Popcorn Game

If you're wanting a more informal way to play with a single partner, or a group of your friends, you might want to try asking each other questions in a popcorn-style round.

Instructions: Place all cards face-up on the table. Draw cards and share your answers in no particular order, one card at a time. 

Conversation card games for when you're alone

The Scenario Cards questions can also be helpful when used as a tool for self-reflection. You can give yourself moments of guided coaching in the midst of your daily life.

Journal Prompt Cards

Draw a card and take ten minutes to write down your thoughts. Pro-tip: Go through one card each day.

 

Reminder Game

Draw a card at random, or shuffle through the deck till you find a particular card that speaks to you.

Keep the card in your wallet or stick it to your wall, mirror, or fridge as a reminder of your passion or goal.